Oh Happy Day!

Today is a great day. The Supreme Court of the United States found bans on marriage equality to be unconstitutional—and that the fundamental right to marriage is a fundamental right for all. A 5-4 ruling. It could have gone the other way. But it didn't. 

For those who do not know, I am pansexual. Pansexuality is sexual attraction, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of any sex or gender identity. Pansexual people may refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others. 

I found out about my sexuality when I was a sophomore in high school. I started to have these unexplained feelings for this girl in chorus. She was funny and her smile was perfection. Since we had mutual friends, we started talking. She always used to say that I liked her and I would follow up with, "I'm not gay!". Little did I know at this point, there wasn't just gay and straight. 

We started hanging out and before I knew it we started dating. She was the first person I ever made out with and actually enjoyed it. In August, we broke up as she was moving away for college and she didn't think I could handle the distance. 

We had a huge fight and stopped talking. The next year, a freshman girl walked into the chorus room. I didn't really have feelings for her in the beginning, but within a month I also liked her. We started dating in October 2011 and were on and and off until about February of my senior year. She always said I was the only person she could have seen marrying. 

In June of 2013, I got a text from my first girlfriend. We hadn't talked in almost 2 years. We hit it off and in July started dating again. I moved in with her in January and things were going well. I bought her a promise ring for our 6 months and told her that if 6 months later we were still going strong, we could talk about changing that promise to an engagement. Well, just 2 months later, we had a huge fight and I moved out. We haven't talked since.

My second girlfriend is now a transgendered male. I am proud of him and support him either way. 

I like boys. I like girls. 

Love is love. It has no gender. 

Thank you Supreme Court for agreeing same-sex marriage is constitutional. I am free to marry who I love, no matter where I may live!

Father's Day 2015

Nineteen years ago my dad celebrated his first Father's Day. I was 8 months old. Even though he wasn't involved in my life for the first couple years, he was still my father. Times were rough when he started coming around again. My parents eventually got back together, my dad moved in, and finally they got married. My dad and I fought a lot. Usually daily. 

But by my junior year of high school, something changed. We started getting a long. We talked, not yelled. More "I love you"s were being said. We were actually happy.

My dad and I still don't always see eye to eye, but we make it work. I love him and he loves me. I know he will always have my back. 

To celebrate Father's Day, we headed to Tannersville, PA to go to the Outlets so my dad could get some new shoes. I ended up getting a cute tank top and my sister got a whole bunch of shorts. My dad wanted to then go check out Best Buy for a new phone case, so my mom went next door to Old Navy and Jaelyn and I went to PetsMart. We then headed back home and ate dinner at a local restaurant. After dinner, we went home and just relaxed.

It was slightly sad because we usually go to a mini-golf and fun center place kind of near our house. But because of all the rain, it didn't happen. But it wasn't my day and I think my dad enjoyed his day.

What do you usually do for Father's Day?

Friday Faves: Irish Dancing

My first "real" post just happens to be on Friday Faves. This week, I have been trying to get prepared to start dancing again. So, I figured why not dedicate this week's Friday Faves to Irish Dance?

I started Irish Dancing when I was 9. I began competing a year later in May 2006.

My first feis. A 1st, a 2nd, and two 3rds!

Irish Dancing has always been a huge passion of mine. The music, the training, making friends, etc. I unfortunately had to stop dancing to to injury in high school, but the passion stayed with me.

Irish Dancers train usually two days a week for 2-3 hours in a class setting with other girls and sometimes boys. However, their training doesn't stop there. Many advanced dancers will practice an additional 1-2 hours daily in their own homes.  Below are some of my practice sessions in my dorm.

I'm one of those crazy girls who can watch Jig (an Irish dance documentary) over and over again or listen to a 10 minute dance song while driving in my car. I love Irish dance, and I am so glad it will always be a part of my life.



Do you enjoy dance?

Finding Myself

I've decided to start this blog in an effort to help find myself. I am seeing professionals to help me, but I also want to be in control of finding myself.  So with that being said, it takes us to here.

But what is here?

Honestly, I have no idea. I am lost. You see, I got dismissed from my top school last week. I also have decided to change my major. But with this comes so much hatred toward myself. Why did I waste two years on a major nothing related to what I want to change to? Why did I let my grades get so low? Why did I let my GPA drop under a 2.0? So many more questions...

So now I am a lost puppy. Sitting in the middle of the woods. Trying to figure out which path to take. Trying to just stay alive.

Join me on my journey to Finding Mak.