Love Has No Labels

When I first started questioning my sexuality, I was embarrassed and uneducated. I didn't realize there were such things as bi-sexual or pan-sexual. I thought it was just gay or straight.  At one point, my ex-girlfriend and I were on a somewhat break. We could still kiss and hold hands, but we weren't girlfriends. I considered us "friends with benefits". She told me no, that she didn't like labels. 

We broke up officially and haven't talked since then, but her words left an impression on me. No labels. I have since grown to not use labels as often. If someone asks about my sexuality, I will usually respond with being pan-sexual, just to make my life easier. But to myself, I am me. I do not know all the answers to the questions about myself yet, and that is okay with me. 

Around Valentine's Day, you probably saw this video:

I remember the first time I watched it and the tears it brought to my eyes. Personally, I realized on the inside, love is love. It doesn't matter gender, race, or religion. Love is simply love.

Recently, I have been getting fed up since the whole marriage equality law being passed. Of course, I am thrilled I, along with the rest of the United States, can marry whomever I want. However, the term "gay marriage" is still being used, along with "gay pride". First off, its the LGBT community, not just the Gay community. But that would be using labels and I HATE LABELS!

Secondly, since its equal now, it is simply marriage. Just marriage. Two people in love, ready to join each-other and start a journey as married couple. And it is the same with parenting. Its not gay parenting, its just parenting. Some children are raised by two parents, some by one, and some by three or four. Simply put, it is marriage and parenting. The same thing that has been happening in this world for decades. 

Why does everything have to be labeled? A person is a person no matter their gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation. I just want the world to realize labels aren't necessary. 

It took a crazy ex-girlfriend and a video to really make me realize love has no labels. What will it take for you?

78th AASBD

This past week, I went to Ohio to compete at the 78th All American Soap Box Derby World Championships. 

Soap Box Derby champions from around the globe earn a trip to Akron, Ohio each year to compete in the FirstEnergy All-American Soap Box Derby at the world famous Derby Downs Track.

Upon my arrival, I received my official racing clothing and signed the official champions banner that will hang permanently in the Derby's Hall of Fame and Museum. On Monday, I was welcomed at a parade in my and the other champions' honor on Main Street in downtown Akron followed by opening ceremonies at Lock 3. Once at Lock 3 each champion is introduced on stage. While on stage, I threw out shirts and took a selfie with the other two champs from my local derby.

On Tuesday, I raced in the Subway Challenge. This race was just for Local Racers (there is local and rally) and was a three lane wheel and lane swap race. It down poured for about 5 minutes, making me wait even longer to race since I was the last heat to go down. I lost all 3 races. Then, I went to the Pro Football Hall of Fame with my family. 

On Wednesday, we went to Cedar Point Amusement Park. Lines were insane and most of the steel roller coasters had 2 hour waits. It was still fun though to go on the coasters we got to go on. 

On Thursday, I went to work on my car one last time before the big race. It was the Local Stock Champion's birthday on Friday so her dad payed for her, my sister, and myself to have manicures. It was a nice way to relax. The hotel threw a pizza and ice cream party for all the champs and their families. 

The Super Kids race was on Friday. The super kid, Dominique, raced 3 times before losing. She did really well and was so proud of her medal. Port's Local Stock champ from 2 years ago was a co-pilot, and got 2 racers to the finals. 

After the race, we went back and had cupcakes and ice cream cake for Corinne's birthday. 

Saturday was the big day. I had to be at the track by 7 am. I did a lot of waiting around. Corrine raced first and she lost. Then Dayton, who won first round and lost his second. I finally raced at 12. I lost by .008 seconds. I was super bummed, and still am, but I improved my time by a full second from the Tuesday challenge race.

 

{Praying before the race}

{Dayton ~ Right side}

 {Waiting to Race}

 {Corrine ~ left side}

{Port Jervis Cheer Section and Champs!}

As tradition, we went to dinner at the Spaghetti warehouse. All in all, it was a good week!

Oh Happy Day!

Today is a great day. The Supreme Court of the United States found bans on marriage equality to be unconstitutional—and that the fundamental right to marriage is a fundamental right for all. A 5-4 ruling. It could have gone the other way. But it didn't. 

For those who do not know, I am pansexual. Pansexuality is sexual attraction, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of any sex or gender identity. Pansexual people may refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others. 

I found out about my sexuality when I was a sophomore in high school. I started to have these unexplained feelings for this girl in chorus. She was funny and her smile was perfection. Since we had mutual friends, we started talking. She always used to say that I liked her and I would follow up with, "I'm not gay!". Little did I know at this point, there wasn't just gay and straight. 

We started hanging out and before I knew it we started dating. She was the first person I ever made out with and actually enjoyed it. In August, we broke up as she was moving away for college and she didn't think I could handle the distance. 

We had a huge fight and stopped talking. The next year, a freshman girl walked into the chorus room. I didn't really have feelings for her in the beginning, but within a month I also liked her. We started dating in October 2011 and were on and and off until about February of my senior year. She always said I was the only person she could have seen marrying. 

In June of 2013, I got a text from my first girlfriend. We hadn't talked in almost 2 years. We hit it off and in July started dating again. I moved in with her in January and things were going well. I bought her a promise ring for our 6 months and told her that if 6 months later we were still going strong, we could talk about changing that promise to an engagement. Well, just 2 months later, we had a huge fight and I moved out. We haven't talked since.

My second girlfriend is now a transgendered male. I am proud of him and support him either way. 

I like boys. I like girls. 

Love is love. It has no gender. 

Thank you Supreme Court for agreeing same-sex marriage is constitutional. I am free to marry who I love, no matter where I may live!

Father's Day 2015

Nineteen years ago my dad celebrated his first Father's Day. I was 8 months old. Even though he wasn't involved in my life for the first couple years, he was still my father. Times were rough when he started coming around again. My parents eventually got back together, my dad moved in, and finally they got married. My dad and I fought a lot. Usually daily. 

But by my junior year of high school, something changed. We started getting a long. We talked, not yelled. More "I love you"s were being said. We were actually happy.

My dad and I still don't always see eye to eye, but we make it work. I love him and he loves me. I know he will always have my back. 

To celebrate Father's Day, we headed to Tannersville, PA to go to the Outlets so my dad could get some new shoes. I ended up getting a cute tank top and my sister got a whole bunch of shorts. My dad wanted to then go check out Best Buy for a new phone case, so my mom went next door to Old Navy and Jaelyn and I went to PetsMart. We then headed back home and ate dinner at a local restaurant. After dinner, we went home and just relaxed.

It was slightly sad because we usually go to a mini-golf and fun center place kind of near our house. But because of all the rain, it didn't happen. But it wasn't my day and I think my dad enjoyed his day.

What do you usually do for Father's Day?

Friday Faves: Irish Dancing

My first "real" post just happens to be on Friday Faves. This week, I have been trying to get prepared to start dancing again. So, I figured why not dedicate this week's Friday Faves to Irish Dance?

I started Irish Dancing when I was 9. I began competing a year later in May 2006.

My first feis. A 1st, a 2nd, and two 3rds!

Irish Dancing has always been a huge passion of mine. The music, the training, making friends, etc. I unfortunately had to stop dancing to to injury in high school, but the passion stayed with me.

Irish Dancers train usually two days a week for 2-3 hours in a class setting with other girls and sometimes boys. However, their training doesn't stop there. Many advanced dancers will practice an additional 1-2 hours daily in their own homes.  Below are some of my practice sessions in my dorm.

I'm one of those crazy girls who can watch Jig (an Irish dance documentary) over and over again or listen to a 10 minute dance song while driving in my car. I love Irish dance, and I am so glad it will always be a part of my life.



Do you enjoy dance?

Finding Myself

I've decided to start this blog in an effort to help find myself. I am seeing professionals to help me, but I also want to be in control of finding myself.  So with that being said, it takes us to here.

But what is here?

Honestly, I have no idea. I am lost. You see, I got dismissed from my top school last week. I also have decided to change my major. But with this comes so much hatred toward myself. Why did I waste two years on a major nothing related to what I want to change to? Why did I let my grades get so low? Why did I let my GPA drop under a 2.0? So many more questions...

So now I am a lost puppy. Sitting in the middle of the woods. Trying to figure out which path to take. Trying to just stay alive.

Join me on my journey to Finding Mak.